Reflections

Have you ever had days where everything seems to remind you of other days? Previous Christmases, times with family that are no longer here with us. Things you wish you had said or done and did not do?

I remember being a child about 6 or so, and going to my grandmothers house for Christmas. I even thought I heard sleigh bells outside around midnight. Then in the morning, waking to wee all the presents under the tree. I remember the Santa that was always put up in front of the house every year. And new Easter clothes to wear on Sunday as we celebrated His resurrection. Even as a child I knew who Jesus was. He is my friend.

I remember many other years of family. Singing at school musicals and seeing my mom watching. By then my dad was too sick to come. He passed away to be with Jesus when I was just 17, on Good Friday of that year. I still miss him.

Then came my son. Christmases became a wonder when watching through his eyes. Seeing him wake up to presents and seeing his face light up. I then became aware of the gift that gives to the parents of the children, the gift I had given my mom and dad all those years ago.

Then as he got older, I taught him that Christmas is not only about presents, but also about the Son, Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us. And with that also came the lessons about giving to others and the joy that gives to the giver. He has taught his kids that too.

Then almost 12 years ago my mom went to be with Jesus and my dad. It was just after Christmas. I still miss her.

I had gone to meet my new husband just before she passed, but she did get to talk to him. We were married shortly after the new year, on Valentines Day! He is one of my rocks to hold onto here. We have visited many places, some new to me, some new to him, some new to both of us, but we always seems to find happiness wherever the roads take us. And we have learned to use our maps and gps on the phone, because we have a habit of finding a road that looks promising, and just heading down it. We have gotten lost a few times, but always find our way back. Thank God that He is our GPS in life!

My grandkids are still at the age where Christmas is a wonder, and even though we don’t get to see them as often as I would like, we do get regular pictures, (but I would love more pics, even doing normal things like chores, lol, hint, hint). I miss seeing the kids and my son and daughter-in-law (I think of her as my daughter).

Then….. about a year and a half ago, my brother went to live with Jesus and my mom and dad. It was sudden, and he never got to visit us here in Canada. We talked a lot about what he wanted to see, and do when he visited, seeing Niagara Falls, especially where Marilyn Monroe had filmed the movie Niagara. For a long time I could not even go there for a drive, it brought on too many memories of times that would never be. I still miss him.

As some may know, I was adopted. And this past year, I found out who my birth parents were. But along with that, I also found out that they had passed away many years ago. My birth mom passed away when I was in my early 30’s. She never had other children. I hope she knew, somehow, that I had a wonderful childhood, and had my own son. My birth father passed away a few years later. I never knew them, but do miss the fact that I can not let them know how I appreciate them giving me to parents that could and would take care of me and teach me well. I do wonder if I have other family out there, cousins, half siblings, others. In some odd way, I miss them.

Then, (do you get the theme here, lol), last week at church, the last in-person service for a while, the pastor mentioned being there with our family, our church family, and I realized that I, that we, still have family here, just not the same ones. I am adopted, am adopted into the family of God, I am His chid and all the others there are also His children, So I do miss my mom, dad, and brother, but I do have such a wonderful family here.

My husband, my son, daughter, grandkids, all my church family, and many others that are related but I do not know, along with many others of my family in Christ; This pandemic has caused us to be apart in person, but has also caused us to have time with our Father, to be able to learn to talk to Him concerning our thoughts, our sadness, our happiness too!

So as 2020 comes to an end, I am glad for what I have here, I still miss family that has gone on, and I am glad to have my Father, my Abba, to lean on when I need to.

I hope that everyone has someone here to lean on, and that everyone will know that Jesus is there too, He has arms big enough to hold us all, and is just waiting to do so!