Stuff

After the chemotherapy and radiation, life seemed to be starting over again. Some of the things that I did before I could not do after, and some of the things from before seemed unnecessary now. “Things” seemed unimportant. People were important. Feelings were important. Stuff was not.

I decided to go through things that I had and clear out some of the stuff that was just laying around, not being used. I took a lot to donation centres, and threw away things that I had forgotten about that just did not work. It’s amazing how much stuff we accumulate over time, things we don’t even use or need anymore. Some things we keep, and then forget the reason why; other things we collect because “it might be needed or come in handy”. This makes me laugh because David and I have a tendency to do just that. Keeping things because they might be needed or we might use them at some point.

Side note: When we were just married, we were cleaning out things in his old condo and he even had a drawer of nothing but caps for bottles and jars. When I asked why, he said he was keeping them in case one broke or he needed another one. But, I asked, Why literally about 300 of them? We still have a chuckle over the caps, but it is a happy memory, especially if it makes us laugh.

Stuff seems to accumulate for all of us, some good, some bad. Some reasons seem good, some have no reason behind keeping it.

I think the hardest things to clear out were not in the house, but in me. The stuff that I was keeping inside, the stuff that keeps us all from being who we are meant to be.

Some of that stuff I can clear out, but a lot of it is stuff that needs help to be removed. Just like the doctors removed the tumor of cancer, I needed help to remove the things inside that were holding me back.

First off, asking God to forgive me because I had not followed Him all my life. I had gone off the path many times, come back, and then strayed off again. But He knew I would do this. He has my life planned out, I just need to follow His path.

Now this is still a daily thing for me. Asking for help each day is also still in my prayers for myself. And I don’t always listen. Even when I know it is best for me, I still want to do things my way. BUT, I keep chipping away at the stuff inside; I keep asking for help, and He listens. And just like a parent here, after I stray away, He is there to hold on to me when I come back.

So I keep clearing out stuff from my house, and I keep trying to clear out stuff from inside me. This is not easy, but at least I know who has my back, and yours!